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Be Your Own R E F U G E.
No matter how many souls surround you everyday,
and regardless of the intensity of your connection to them, there is one main
connectedness that determines your entire being and influences your
perceptions, behaviors, and performance in every area. That connectedness is
the one you have with
yourself.
If you think this sounds somewhat
ethereal you may be right. But at the same time, it is pretty pragmatic as
well. Think, for instance, of the voice inside your head that pops up when
you least expect it. In traffic, maybe, when you are about to make a bold
move and you suddenly hear "Don't even think about it!" Or at the office
when you study the reports on your desk,
all clearly pointing in one decisive
direction, and yet, there is this voice again telling you, "Wait a little
longer. There is something everybody is overlooking here." Or when you are
dating someone who seems to meet all your criteria for the perfect
life-partner. And yet, this voice warns, "Careful! You are missing something
crucial here that may change your mind."
Most of us recognize this voice
as "intuition." However, there may be more to it than just that. This is,
after all, also the voice that keeps bothering you when you are aware of a
dreadful truth that, for some reason, you refuse to share with the right
people. That's when this voice is usually referred to as
"conscience."
But then there are also those moments when you feel as if
you have seen it all, and nothing can improve your circumstances: the weary,
devastated moments. Those are the ones through which you become fully aware
of your individualism, in spite of the closeness you may have developed with
others in your work- or private surroundings. These moments involve
intense seclusion, necessary to make you establish the inner-connection that
will
become your refuge, and that will determine your growth toward
greater coping capacity with all further occurrences in your life.
So,
what does this inner-connection lead to, and what does it stand
for?
R: Realization that there cannot be any rewarding connection
with others if there is no rewarding connection with yourself. If you don't
know who you are, what you want, and what you stand for, you will not be able
to choose the right people to surround you, and all inter-human
connections
will ultimately dissolve into oblivion.
E:
Earnestness to engender the right attitude toward everything you face. This
is how an abundance of great qualities is born: you teach yourself to see
things in as broad a perspective as possible; you stick with what you
believe; and you get up every time the ground beneath you
slips away.
F: Fortitude to take every lemon that life throws
at you, and produce lemonade from it; to treat even the most humiliating
situations that may be in store for you with dignity; and to survive even the
most appalling confrontations with the most difficult
people.
U: Understanding that everything happens for a reason,
and that a missed opportunity is usually a forebode for a better one coming
your way. Understanding, too, that different people have different
perceptions, and that no one is to blame for conflicts that result from this
very fact. And finally, understanding that nothing lasts, and that it is
therefore not worth your while to cling to anything.
G:
Gratitude for all the good - and bad - that has come your way thus far; for
your insights and your maturity, which could not have been at their current
level without the lessons you learned through the people, books, and thoughts
you encountered.
E: Exuberance to accelerate your drive toward
achieving every goal, no matter how many obstacles you may find on your path
toward realizing them.
Becoming your own refuge is not only a
process that happens over time, but one that definitely requires long periods
of concentration on yourself: thinking about your purpose in life,
constructively using the lonely moments that may occur, evaluating the
lessons to be learned from every day, and
being unafraid to face even the
darkest spots in your character.
But once you have become your refuge,
you will find increased fulfillment in all decisions you make: you will sense
and implement the right attitude, which is one refrained from antagonism,
abhorrence, malice, jealousy, or conceit toward co-workers, competitors,
strangers, friends, and family members, and most of all:
yourself.
Dr. Joan Marques,
Burbank, May 26,
2004
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About the
Author:
Joan Marques emigrated from Suriname, South America, to California,
U.S., in 1998. She holds a doctorate in Organizational Leadership, a Master’s
in
Business Administration, and is currently a university instructor
in Business and Management in Burbank, California. You may visit her web
sites
at http://www.joanmarques.com
and
http://www.spiritcounts.com
Joan's
manual "Feel Good About Yourself," a six part series to get you over the
bumps in life and onto success, can be purchased and downloaded at:
http://www.non-books.com/FeelGoodSeries.html
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