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Beware of the
yoyo effect! (A deliberation about the recurring trap of action through
dissatisfaction.)
Do you know them? The
eternal movers? The ones that are never satisfied in one place for long? The
ones that start complaining as soon as they get used to a situation?
When I lived in Suriname,
South America, I thought it was a local problem: my home country had
regressed into an economic slum, due to persistent bad management, kicked off by
a military coup in 1980, and continued by subsequent governmental malperformance
since. The result was that almost half of the population left in hordes to the
previous European motherland: the Netherlands. But what happened?
Many of these emigrated
fellow countrymen were unhappy in their new environment, although they were now
living and working under much more beneficial and secure economical
circumstances. Yet, as time progressed, so did homesickness. And discontent. And
thus: the desire to return home, because that’s where, after all, the sun was
always shining, and the ambiance was much more tranquil.
So, many of these
disgruntled folks made yet another decision: After “suffering” for some years in
an economically prosperous, but emotionally dissatisfying environment, they
would return home. Back where they belonged, in the sun and the leisure of the
East-Caribbean.
Maybe you can already guess
what happened next? After the initial elation of being back in the easy-going
environment of home, a different kind of frustration started eating at these
remigrants: They had changed; the situation at home had changed; and their view
on the things that they once enjoyed so much had changed. And the reflared
romance was short-lived.
From there on, these
searching individuals could make either of two decisions: stay and make the best
of the perceived unfavorable position and place they were in, or return to the
motherland where there was at least some economical security to benefit from.
Some chose for the first option, but many for the latter: they returned to the
Netherlands, and within a few months their frustration and depression recurred
tenfold: The yoyo effect was established.
Now, the interesting
discovery I made in recent years was, that the phenomenon described above was
not location or situation bounded. In the meantime I have come to know a few of
these jumpers in the U.S. as well. They came to, for instance, Los Angeles, from
another city or state; first liked it; then started complaining about the local
frenzy, hypocrisy, and what have you; subsequently packed their bags to return
“home” to their old town; found out there that everything had changed, including
them; and thus returned to L.A., where, at least, there was some “life”!
However: after a few months, or at the highest a couple of years, the discontent
started consuming them again, and they packed once more…. to go home! And the
story continues...
So, what is it with these
people? Lack of perseverance? Short memory? Excessive spirit for adventure?
Restlessness? Misfortune? Insufficient ability to comprehend the manifestation
of internal and external change? Or just a hopeless dosage of
romanticism?
The yoyo-people definitely
remind me of a phrase in Barbra Streisand’s song “The Way We Were:” “What’s too
painful to remember, we simply choose to forget.” It seems that the
above-described individuals, more so than others, have a tendency to do just
that: When they are in one place and get confronted with the everyday
discomforts, they tend to forget the cumbersomeness of their previous
environment, start over-romanticizing it, and encounter the irresistible
inner-desire to go back. This is a vicious cycle. And a very unfortunate one
too!
If you, or someone close to
your heart, appear to suffer from this yoyo effect, consider the following
simple truths for reflection: 1. Think of all the time, money, and
credibility you lost by moving back and forth. Very few good things happen
overnight. The most successful people will tell you that every sudden seeming
victory had a prelude of at least 15 years! 2. Realize that every person and
environment is subject to change. Nothing will be as it was when you left it.
You moved on, but so did the people and places you left behind. So don’t expect
them to be the same when you return. 3. Also realize that every action you
engage in will have positive and negative elements. Even in an ideal marriage
the partners would like to change certain things in each other’s behavior.
So, what else can you expect from a less than perfect environment as your
workplace or the town you live in? 4. Attitude is everything. If you keep
your eyes and ears open, play into existing needs, and demonstrate willingness
toward desired achievements, you will be more likely to succeed where you are
now. 5. If you still have an unstoppable desire to return to your previous
environment: don’t pack your bags right away, but pay a visit first. A few weeks
of confrontation may do miracles for your sense of reality. And they may
reenergize you to keep trying where you are now. 6. Realize that you’re not
alone: there are many others out there with the same doubts and struggles. Why
wouldn’t YOU be one of the strong ones and show them how to transform endurance
into contentment?
The above provided points
may not break the yoyo movement within, but they can at least slow it down. And
maybe, if you take just a little more time to adapt to a situation, you may run
into the breakthrough you have always dreamed of. Patience, my dear Watson.
Patience…
Joan Marques, Burbank, March
29, 2004 --------------------------------------------------- About the
Author: Joan Marques emigrated from Suriname, South America, to California,
U.S., in 1998. She holds a doctorate in Organizational Leadership, a Master’s in
Business Administration, and is currently a university instructor in Business
and Management in Burbank, California. You may visit her web sites at http://www.joanmarques.com and http://www.spiritcounts.com Joan's
manual "Feel Good About Yourself," a six part series to get you over the bumps
in life and onto success, can be purchased and downloaded at: http://www.non-books.com/FeelGoodSeries.html
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