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5 Ways to lose the loser and lead the leader within you.
I am not sure
whether there is anyone on this earth who – in his or her right mind – would
acknowledge that he or she is a loser. Oh yes, many of us have faced various
circumstances under which we would readily admit that we failed, but then
there are other moments - when our self-esteem is somewhat more intact - that
we will find multiple justifications for the less fortunate outcomes we
encountered at some time or another.
But you know what? Failure is not
just a thing for losers. We all fail regularly. We just don’t admit it, and
part of the reason for that may be that the world has taught us not to see
those regular failures as such. They are generally accepted as the way to go.
Nonetheless, they are failures, and our spiritual awareness alerts us about
them, whether we want to listen or not. Even when we are at the height of
success in everyone else’s eyes, we know our own dark secrets: We are aware
of our deepest thoughts and feelings, and the actions, perceptions and
tendencies we are less proud of.
So, what could be some of the loser
elements in even the most successful seeming person? Let’s name a few and
analyze them right away:
1. Trying to catch people making mistakes
instead of trying to detect the best in them. Few people would list that as a
failure, but it is just that when perceived from a spiritual perspective.
Now, one could ask, “Well, if we know that, why, then, do most of us still
maintain that tendency?” The answer is simple: we love to excel in the eyes
of colleagues, supervisors,
or subordinates, and if we can catch another
person doing something wrong we can show off how smart we are. It is much
harder to learn how to focus on things done well by others, and genuinely
express our respect and admiration for that, than to find others making
mistakes.
2. Going for opportunities only after they have proven
their profitability rather than seizing them in their earliest stages: It is
the excessive cautiousness that is ingrained in most of us that leads to
mediocrity instead of excellence. Most of us are too scared to take the risk
of being crushed, so we wait at the sideline to see what the daredevils
accomplish. And, of course, by the time that the results from those
daredevils are in,
the best chances have been taken as well!
3.
Analyzing trends instead of setting them: No matter how many gurus will write
about radicalism, and no matter how many times reality proves to us that the
art of living is about anticipating and being prepared for surprises, we
continue to analyze trends. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but we
should also know by now that the most successful people arrived in their
privileged position, not because of analyzing trends, but
because of creating
the surprises that ridicule those trends: They decided to be the change they
wanted to see in the world…
4. Assuming that there can only be
victory if one of the two negotiating parties loses. We all fall into that
trap now and then, because it is build upon an old pattern of thinking: We
want to prove others wrong to establish our right. For the longest time,
indeed, business was about winners and losers. But by now we should realize
that business can also be about winners and winners. What better feeling is
there than when all parties are
satisfied?
5. Making change a
one-man show rather than a collective effort: Too many change strategies,
although fundamentally justified, have derailed because the implementer
failed to involve all stakeholders. This is one of the critical parts of a
spiritual approach in every workplace: making people feel that their opinions
matter: listening to their points of view, and then
setting out a strategy
that entails: 1) creating a level of dissatisfaction with the status quo, in
order to fertilize the soil for change; 2) detecting the change proponents
and building a change coalition with them; 3) systematically working with the
change-proponents to astutely convince the reactionaries of the benefit of
this change for all.
In sum, here are thus the 5 ways to lose the loser
and lead the leader within you:
1. Catch people doing good
things.
2. Go for opportunities early on.
3. Be a
trendsetter.
4. Focus on victory for all parties.
5. Involve
everyone all the time.
If you manage to scrutinize your behavior and
thought processes from now on, and install an inner alert button whenever you
tend to deviate from the 5 points above, and slide back into the 5 earlier
mentioned failures, you will be able to lastingly lose the loser and lead the
leader within you.
Joan Marques, Burbank, April 16,
2004
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About the
Author:
Joan Marques emigrated from Suriname, South America, to California,
U.S., in 1998. She holds a doctorate in Organizational Leadership, a Master’s
in
Business Administration, and is currently a university instructor
in Business and Management in Burbank, California. You may visit her web
sites
at http://www.joanmarques.com
and
http://www.spiritcounts.com
Joan's
manual "Feel Good About Yourself," a six part series to get you over the
bumps in life and onto success, can be purchased and downloaded at:
http://www.non-books.com/FeelGoodSeries.html
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